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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25249537">みな、ただいま　(everyone, I’m home)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_patriarchy_420_69/pseuds/The_patriarchy_420_69'>The_patriarchy_420_69</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The three and the unimaginable expectations of Fate (make no mistake there are more than three) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>BAMF Class 1-A (My Hero Academia), BAMF Class 1-B, BAMF Midoriya Inko, BAMF Midoriya Izuku, Fate knows everthing, Gen, Im warning you, Izuku is ver spacy, Midoriy has PTSD, Mythical Beings &amp; Creatures, Red String of Fate, Spirits, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, We have very far to go before we even start thinking about UA, Which One?, Yes., bakugou has ptsd, bakugou is a widdle twamatised, body horror?, but he gets bettter, but im bad at science, deadass tho, good quality tea, have i warned you about the goverment yet?, i cant begin to expalin what im trying to do but know that it ends up with 1-A and B in space, i made bakugou Russian, i take cannon out back and shoot it in the stomach with a sawed-off shotgun, i try to explain things with science, just a widdle, just in case, my attempt at worldbuilding, my hero but in colour, myths and legends, non-euclidean spaces, not gossip they just chill, possible war crimes, potals and wormholes, somebody taught tokoyami how to use a knife and nothing has been the same since, spiders and other crawlies, wipes tear</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:15:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,324</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25249537</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_patriarchy_420_69/pseuds/The_patriarchy_420_69</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>To be honest Izuku Midoriya  is just a UA student, or will be.</p>
<p>That’s not really all though.</p>
<p>Maybe it’s the lack of a face, or the lack of limbs, maybe the lack of a self preservation instinct or the lack of most of his memories.</p>
<p>Maybe its the talking rabbit telling him what to do.</p>
<p>Maybe its the fact that he’s standing face to face with some red eye’d blond kid telling him he watched Izuku Midoriya die...</p>
<p>It’s probably the rabbit.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku, Hizashi|Izuku, Izuku|Class 1-A, Izuku|Fate, Izuku|Inko, Izuku|Oc Characters, Izuku|class1-B, Midoriya Izuku &amp; Everyone, You meet class 1-A/B but like not in a school setting, its all non romantic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The three and the unimaginable expectations of Fate (make no mistake there are more than three) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1829275</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Lord of the backseat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>rolls up in mask with manny painted on my forehead<br/>okay so to whoever read my fic before im super sorry for any confusion I just had a big problem with how I wrote it so I started again, hopefully this one will feel a bit more together than the last<br/>as always since I sacrificed my last few braincells in order to create coherent sentances my spelling is that of a small dog so @ me if I screw up<br/>Harsh criticism please!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>as always stay safe! and defund the police!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Exactly seven years, three months, seven weeks, three days, seven hours, three minutes and seven seconds after a massacre on a beach, Eri makes a wish. Wrapped in chains and promises, she, the granddaughter of tragedy and trauma, wishes for a family. She wishes for freedom and she wishes for a life to live for.</p><p><br/>
Something shifts, ever so slightly, to the side of disaster, because few believe in fate– even fewer in coincidence– but when Eri wishes, things start to line up. Gossamer red threads tighten, and a great gust follows her words as it follows any great change, spinning, spinning around her small voice as she cries into the gale.</p><p> </p><p>Izuku wakes up.</p><p><br/>
The Island wakes up.<br/>
Things begin to change–</p><p><br/>
“Get off him!”</p><p><br/>
“Hi, you’re Denki, right?”</p><p><br/>
“I'm sorry, but I just can't stay here anymore.”</p><p><br/>
“Japan?”</p><p><br/>
“We’re moving again?”</p><p> </p><p>And–</p><p><br/>
“What have you done with Touya?!”</p><p><br/>
“Wait! Wait! No, no, no! Don’t, please!”</p><p><br/>
“I’ll take care of us, okay?”</p><p><br/>
“Don't forget about me, one day you’ll find me again.”</p><p><br/>
If this story was carried on the backs of eagles, they had just nosedived.</p>
<hr/><p>My eyes snap open, the left lagging behind because of gunk glueing it shut. I groan and roll onto my side, which is a mistake. A flare of white hot pain spreads across my ribs, knocking my breath out of my chest. I gently flutter my fingers over the wound and finally manage to blink both my eyes open. My left leg is completely numb, and I can't feel one of my arms from elbow down. My left arm has the sleeve torn open and scratches sting from saltwater. I'm wearing heavy iron soled boots and loose cargo pants with a heavy belt that has about five pockets lining it. My chest is constricted by a thick black vest that holds extra pockets. From what I can tell, my legs are tangled in an excessively long black jacket that hugs my arms.</p><p>Fighting into a sitting position takes way too long. To make matters worse, I haven't stopped coughing since I sat up. Acid and blood boils at the back of my throat and my hair is stuck to my neck with sweat and sand.</p><p>There are towers of rotting wood and iron spins around me in spires of abandonment. The small patch of clear sand I'm sitting on is stained. Every now and then water flushes in from behind me. With the tide coming in, I decide that I should really start moving, so I crawl to the nearest pile and use it to leverage myself to my feet. A spark of pain makes me hiss, and a look at my bare hand shows crimson clumps in the place where my nails should be. My fingertips are just smeared skin, no fingerprints, with my other hand being wrapped in a tight glove.</p><p>Making my way through the trash is rotten work, but I manage to get to the strip of clearish sand where the grass crawls into the beach. I look back on the scene and something hot and thick clogs the back of my throat. Choking on a cry, my knees buckle and hit the cold dirt of the footpath.</p><p>Something enormous stirs behind my eyes that breaks the world into tiny fragments that snap back into focus when I blink. And something just hurts. Something that builds like thunder and it <em>hurts</em>. Like rain behind my lungs, and it hurts so bad as if someone had swung a hammer into my chest.</p><p>But I'm forgetting something. It rings out on my empty ribs, I can't for the life of me remember how I got here or- what I'm mourning. What did I lose? And-  everything, I can't breathe, because I'm screaming and I can't-, nothing moves except the wind roaring around me screaming in my ears, like I haven't already heard it a thousand times. I try to remember how I got lost in this iron graveyard, but sound and static rips through my head, razor sharp and unforgiving, gunshots echo, hot blood splatters on my cheek and suddenly I'm back on the grass, caught in a million red threads like a web, and- </p><p><br/>
<span class="u">Oh shit, this wasn't supposed to happen.</span>
</p><p><br/>
I spin around so fast my neck barks in pain, and I desperately try to wipe my tears, only to come away with more blood than I was expecting. “Wha-what?” I say. My voice is rough, like sandpaper, and grates even at my own ears.</p><p><br/>
<span class="u">What the hell are you doing? How did you even do this?</span>
</p><p><br/>
Panic spins me like a top. Just like how I struggled to breath before, my breaths come out as scratchy wheezes.</p><p><br/>
<span class="u">What are you doing? Get out! </span>
</p><p><br/>
“I don't, I don't-don't," I gasp for breath again, "What?” I blink rapidly, yet the black spots in my vision stubbornly stay. But I still attempt to follow the voice's instructions, beginning to move.</p><p><br/>
<span class="u">Hey, where do you think you're going?</span>
</p><p><br/>
“Anywhere but here,” I wheeze while struggling to my feet, slipping on the smooth dirt. Reaching my arm out to the nearest tree, my head starts to head spin, making me miss the tree and smash my face against the trunk instead.</p><p><br/>
<span class="u">Smooth.</span>
</p><p><br/>
“I try,” I say, curling into a ball in between the roots. The tree sighs in the wind. “Biss off,” I snarl in response. I'd had enough of the wind, so I just curl tighter into the looping ropes, hoping they’d shield me from the worst of the noise.</p><p><br/>
<span class="u">Hey hey hey! Are you just going to stay there? Someone's going to find you! You need to <em>move</em>!</span>
</p><p><br/>
I just groaned, fighting to keep my eyes open. It was like a blanket had fallen over me, the heaviest kind. I just felt tired now; too much had happened too soon. The strange voice screamed again but blackness swamped me, and I dipped back into unconsciousness.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>Few believe in fate. Fewer still in coincidence. But as a lone widow comes across her son laying in a gnarled tree, bloody and dying, things start to line up; gossamer red threads tighten. A great gust follows her as she carries her child home, as the wind follows any great change, spinning, spinning around Inko's tired feet. </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Jackrabbit was panicking.</p><p>He tried to move, but nothing shifted. He had come to the beach to <em>die</em>, not to invite wayward spirits into his body. Then, a very familiar warmth sparks from his chest. The same feeling you get when you're wearing too many layers and for a split second, you're cold instead of blistering. Joker is angry, furious like he hasn't been in seven years. The kind of angry that makes him want to bury a knife in someone’s chest. Repeatedly. </p><p> </p><p><em>Get UP! </em>He angrily thought-yelled.</p><p><br/>
He screamed. He snarled and yelled but nothing made a sound. There was just darkness as he felt his body be lifted by an unknown force and carried away. There was just nothing, nothing at all; Jackrabbit could feel the endless emptiness of defeat. His road had come to an end, all his planning and fighting just to fall away off the face of existence, because now he didn't exist, just a voice in somebody else's head. He felt his body settle on something soft and a hand was placed on his chest, pressing down gently. A tightness came around Jackrabbit, like he had dived underwater and was being pushed in on all sides. Then, his world spun in a terrible wave of vertigo. It felt like he was being dropped off a building while having the soles of his feet pulled through his throat. He heard a loud snap- a whip crack- and then Jackrabbit could finally see. He sucked in a huge breath and swiveled his head around.</p><p><br/>
“Oh fuck.” He jumped at the sound of his own voice, much louder than he was used to, probably because he wasn’t human anymore. Which, weird. He bounded to a floor length mirror on the one side of the bedroom, and came face to face with a small triangular muzzle and wide ears that swiveled in response to his breathing. “The fucking irony,” he hissed as he glared at his new fuzzy refection, just as the bed's occupant seemed to shift.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Waking was less of a burden this time around, and I rock onto one side, my hand coming up to rub at my eyes. The ache in my chest settles into a one deep weariness instead. But then, a heavy weight springs onto my ankles and I lift my head to stare at the- rabbit? What?</p><p>It was big, but not huge, with two small horns poking out from beside its ears that fork into a Y shape–</p><p> </p><p>“You.”</p><p> </p><p>Okay, so. The rabbit is talking. And it sounds BISSED. It opens its mouth to talk again, but says nothing.</p><p><br/>
“What?” I ask. Previously, I didn't know a rabbit could look so surprised. As it opens and closes its mouth, it begins to look more feral instead.</p><p><br/>
“Why can't I say it?” it spits. </p><p><br/>
“Say what?” The rabbit glares at me and I realise the stupidity of the statement, fiddling with the covers of the bed. I bring them up to brush against my lips, trying to cover the flush of heat on my cheeks. “Hey, do you know how I got here?” I say instead, and the rabbit doesn't answer. It looks lost in thought, so I decide to leave it alone. In lieu of speaking, I let my eyes wander.</p><p>It's a surprisingly domestic scene that tugs at the muscles in my back. I flop back into the sheets again, startling the rabbit as I nestle into the downy mattress to enjoy the feel of the fabric. But it’s an unfamiliar feeling, so I sit up again, ignoring the side-eye from the rabbit, and run my hand across my back, reaching as far as I can. Brows furrowed in concentration, I managed to feel out the the beginnings of a wide scar that starts right beside my shoulder blade and tapers down to where I can't reach. Bringing my hand up, I brush my shoulder to only find more scars lining it, too.</p><p>Throwing the blanket off my legs and, ignoring the squeak of protest, I find myself in nothing but boxers, with a bandage that covers the previous wound on my ribs. Looking over the rest of my body reveals a myriad of scars and pockmarks. Around my toes, on my right foot, there's a smudge of tissue that fissures out into a spider-web of shining skin. My eyes linger on my left foot, or lack thereof. <em>That explains the numbness</em>, I think, startled. The limb cuts off sharply near the knee, just below the joint. Upon closer inspection, something akin to a brand sits right on the cutoff point. Only, looking at it snags a painful memory that leaves me panting with my head in my hands… hand. Wait a sec.</p><p>My right arm mirrors my leg, just below the elbow. It cuts off to nothing, with an identical brand to match. Meanwhile my left hand has a thin band of silver around my wrist, just below the joint. It takes a while to process this, as well as another panic attack. The rabbit just watches me sob. I try to ignore it so I can save some dignity.</p><p>Moving up my body shows that both my knees holds a patchwork of shining tissue. traveling up to my stomach shows a multitude of long thin scars that have small dots either side of them; surgery scars, most likely. My one arm holds a large burn that wraps around my elbow, and my shoulders are a smattering of varying cuts. A triad of long puffy ones sit from just below my collar bone and travels to my shoulder. I bring my one hand to my face and run it along my jawline, which is distressingly bumpy. Feathering my cheekbones and running a finger across my brow reveals one last horrifying detail. It must show on whatever is left of my face, because the rabbit laughs.</p><p><br/>
“I was waiting for you to figure that one out, serves you right,” the rabbit snarks. Something twists in my gut and I look away, bringing the blanket up again to cover my face.</p><p><br/>
“Who-who even are you...?” I whisper as loudly as I can, fist twitching by my face. </p><p><br/>
A moment of silence. Then it says, “Call me Jackrabbit. Or the green-valley puppet, whichever you prefer.” </p><p><br/>
“Gre-en-valley? Why–y?” My throat clogs up on the Y sound, so I just stare at Jackrabbit instead. I'm thinking about how he came up with the name when he bounds up to me, and I realise it's been longer than I thought. Damn, I probably look rude.</p><p><br/>
“Listen, you owe me big-time, so you need to help me,” it says, with as much of an eye-roll as a rabbit can manage. I try to answer the rabbit, but it becomes apparent to me that I can't form large sentences yet. I instead try to focus on trying to say the most important part of my thoughts. </p><p><br/>
“I... o-o-owe you? H-help... wh-with... w-wh-what?”</p><p>The rabbit stills at that and glares at me again, before beginning to speak a bit slower. “You don't remember me. Do you?”</p><p>I shake my head in response and Jackrabbit nods back.</p><p><br/>
“You need to help me get my body back. I lost it because you betrayed me when I was helping you find your father.”</p><p><br/>
I sit in silence and contemplate this. Considering how odd my situation is right now, losing your body and betrayal doesn't sound too weird. So I say, “Kay.”</p><p><br/>
“... What?” The rabbit- <em>jack</em>rabbit– looks shocked, again.</p><p><br/>
“We-ell I do-n-n't have any-thi... thing bet-tter to do,” I blink down at Jack, hand still covering my mouth and chin with the blanket.</p><p><br/>
“You have a few things but I won't argue with your logic,” He mutters while hopping down onto the floor and then looking over his shoulder, pink eyes almost glowing. Actually, I think they are–</p><p><br/>
“Are you coming?”</p><p><br/>
“Oh,” I whisper softly, swinging my legs... leg and a half over the bed. I look over to see there are a pair of crutches placed thoughtfully near the nightstand, so I grip them in my palms and hobble to the door. “Clothes,” I suddenly blurt, realising that I'm pretty much in the nude by my standards. Jackrabbit rolls his eyes again in his strange, rabbit way. Navigating to the closet, I slide it open and picked the first things I found, being a pair of shirt and pants. They're both hopelessly big, which makes me feel hopelessly small. I struggle for far too long with the string on the sweatpants to make sure they don't slip right off. It certainly doesn't help that after my third failure, Jack scoffs at me from across the room. </p><p><br/>
Finally moving back to open the door, I let Jack out first, then step outside into the hall. To the right of me is another door, which I assume is a different bedroom, so I don't open it. To the left is another door, but Jack scurries past to go down the hall, making me hurry to follow him.</p><p>As we walk– Or, well, Jackrabbit hops- I spot on my immediate right a long couch and table facing a small TV sitting on a stand. A wall partly divides the room, and standing in the kitchen is a person. The hair on the back of my neck immediately stands up and I grip the crutches tighter. Her hands are strained around a cup, knuckles white. She has ebony hair done in a messy bun that leaves strands in her face. I haven't seen anyone else, so I don't know if I'm that short or not, but she looks about my height.</p><p>I wait, but she doesn't notice my presence. I look down at Jackrabbit, who's too busy glaring absolute broadswords at her, so I steel myself.</p><p> <br/>
“U-m..um, h-hi-”</p><p>The woman snaps her head up so fast that it startles me. She gasps in surprise, letting the cup slip a bit before fumbling it onto the counter. She flounders to say, “Oh oh! You’re aw-awake um, are you, um, feeling okay?” Her words make tension pull my shoulders taunt, and my toes curl into the hard tile.</p><p><br/>
“I'm... O-ok... okay,” I manage to stutter. She nods frantically and wrings her fingers, eyes are darting from my face to the floor. It pulls something ugly out of my chest. I almost bring my right arm up to try and cover it, but that makes me feel worse, so I just end up twitching my stump a bit violently.</p><p><br/>
“Do you, um, do you, uh, I'm so sorry, do you remember me?” The woman says, and something desperate sits in the lines of her face. She looks old and her eyes pull sorrow, and that fragile kind of hope into every wrinkle. I tried being poetic but in the end she just looked sad, like she was already resigned to the my answer before I had even said it. </p><p>I shake my head, and she just sinks; a stone settling in the bottom of the ocean. It must have been a long way down, because it looks like every ounce of her energy just drained into her feet. Her hands wrangle each other again, looking for something to hold. </p><p><br/>
“That's okay, that's um– It's okay. I'm Inko, Midoriya Inko. Your, um, your mum- mother. I, ah, I'm your mother.”</p><p><br/>
That does surprise me, for some reason. I try to chase the feeling but static swims in my eyelids, so I stop. "Mother," I test the word on my tongue. That shouldn't feel as weird as it does, but I take this as an absolute win, since waking up in a random location that ends up being my house was not how I thought this night would end up. “Uh th-this… is-is go-g-going t-t... to soun-d weir-d, but, who-o am I? I me-mean…” My throat clogs up again, making me stump on my words. I let my eyes fall to the floor.</p><p><br/>
“... Oh! You, your–" she swallows hard, "-your name is Izuku. Midoriya Izuku.” She tries to go for a smile, but it just looks strained.</p><p>My hackles rise again. For some reason, I feel like the name just doesn't fit.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <a href="https://www.deviantart.com/thepatriarchy42069/art/Img-8400-4-848282853">some concept art for jackrabbits mask (not mentioned in fic but will be later)</a>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. hey so. try and keep it together ok? I'm doing my best to make this interesting.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>crawls from swamp with block of cheese<br/>ladsssss<br/>hows the vibe?<br/>dont judge my slow updates okay im a procastinanting type of gal<br/>anyway as usual harsh critasism pls idk what im doing <br/>and as always stay safe, trans lives matter and defund the police &gt;:)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>My mo- Ms. Midoriya ends up making me lunch, which, in a weird way, tells me the time; it’s not like there’s any windows or clocks in this place anyway. </span>
  <em>
    <span>The food is amazing</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I think, passing some to Jack too, and he makes a face, which had to mean </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Ms. Midoriya ends up being okay. She seems to calm down the longer we talk, so I learn a few crucial things.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>First, I don’t have a dad, like straight up no actual registered father. Which, again, surprises me more than it should, but Jack did mention something about him… the surprise ends up holding a bittersweet kind of relief- and I don’t know why. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Second, Izuku Midoriya- me, apparently- has been homeschooled for three years, ever since I left in my first year of middle school, which makes me just over thirteen now. The age makes me pause and look down at my missing leg, which leads me to the next tidbit. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Third, I was born with congenital limb deformities which had to be amputated when I was very young. Ms. Midoriya refuses to look me in the eye when she tells me this,  so I decide not to ask about my face and try to move on.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lastly, I absolutely love heroes. Like, </span>
  <em>
    <span>love.</span>
  </em>
  <span> She smiles genuinely at this, and very softly tells me how I used to ramble on and on about how they fight and what their quirks do. She then tells me how I would always visit the forest when I had the chance, wandering among the trees near the beach. She said she had gone looking for me when I didn’t come home by curfew and found me by the willow. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She goes silent after that, which I suppose is good timing, because weariness tugs at my shoulders and my eyes swim for a few seconds at a time. She gently tells me to go rest again, and watches as I stumble to my feet and lumber to my room again, the soft pad of paws tells me that jack-rabbit followed me again. I barely close the door before he starts snapping at me again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“First thing tomorrow, we are going back to the beach. We need to investigate exactly how you managed to completely destroy my body, and if we can get it back. If not, I'm going to need you to convince the other puppet to get you back to school.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It takes me a few seconds to process all of this. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Other puppet?” I ask. Though, it's pretty obvious that he’s referring to Ms. Midoriya. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It's a matter of coincidences, kid,” he replies and leaves it at that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, why am I going back to school in our plan B?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>My</span>
  </em>
  <span> plan B, and I had a few contacts with very, very important people before you tried to get rid of me. Getting you back to school is important to getting you to UA, so that we can get their attention. It's how they tend to recruit people, and I doubt that they're going to believe all of this-” he pauses for a moment, “-even if they do they won’t take a chance on it and just cut me off, which absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>cannot </span>
  </em>
  <span>happen.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>No response.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What's UA?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A school, the best actually, regarding heroics at least. For our purposes, it dosnt matter what course we get into, we just have to do something crazy stupid impressive and get their attention long enough to get a favor out of them.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Who's</span>
  <em>
    <span> they</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>What's heroics?</span>
  </em>
  <span> I echo in my head</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He takes a long while to answer, long enough that I thought he had ignored me again </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“The underground; the below, whatever it’s called. It connects the whole world, and some of the most influential and powerful people affiliate with it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And that marks my first ever actual memory, it's a small uneventful thing, but the mention of it slaps me with a sudden familiarity that honestly startles me.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aa!” and I end up startling jackrabbit too. “Th-the, -i re-reme-remember um isn't it a bit of a conspiracy?'' The rest of the memory slips from my grasp and I pout in frustration, but the snapshots of electric glow and of colorful spores, vines, splattered paint and violent bloody fights stay with me.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You remember the underground?” confusion colors his tone for a microsecond but he hides it well. “And yes it is, which is why it's so hard to get in contact with them and why it's so important that we get their favor back, there’s a person there that can grow me a new body”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Grow…” I sink back onto the sheets of the bed, crutch leaning against the mattress, the rabbit starts talking again but I just sigh as my thoughts swim in a great soup of tired, the memory surges at me again like a coiled snake and I close my eyes to savor it, I'm standing in an arena, my chest aches and blood drips down my knuckles, I'm smiling so hard it hurts, I go to look to the sidelines because someone is watching me, I heard the woman laugh and cheer. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey did ya see that!?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course I did ----</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I startle so bad that my hand jerks to my hip fast enough that I don't notice it's there until I brush my fingers past my pants to grip the blanket again to cover my face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jackrabbit looks scandalized. “Did you fall asleep?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“....maybe”     </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“ you-” he cuts himself off “just- ok whatever, just go to sleep I’ll figure this out on my own”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I protest but he talks over me.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Go to bed, you’re more useful when you’re listening to what I tell you” he snaps harshly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I flinch. But slowly lift the covers to swing my leg under the blankets but I blink in realization.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The lights…..” I trail off at Jack's withering glare so I just flop onto my back and nuzzle under the blankets.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>My shoulder twitches so I shift onto my back, it's incredibly quiet and so awkward that my hand grips the blanket tighter, I screw my eyes shut and try to count my breaths, my mind ends up wandering away, trailing from thought to thought……</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I don't dream</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And I wake up quietly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The lack of windows puts me off, and a tangible energy buzzes in my limbs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You ready to go?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jackrabbit never fails to startle me but I nod frantically and he hops on the bed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I found your prosthetics in the bathroom” he mentions as I palm my crutches.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.. th-thanks” I make my way out to the hall to the door on my left to get ready, I thank god for muscle memory because I don't think jackrabbit would be nice enough to help   me figure out the prosthetic, its such a disconnecting feeling, not knowing what the fuck your doing while your hand does all the work.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The leg prosthetic looks standard, but the ankle joint looks complicated, the part that connects to my stump has a weird gel pad that has a strange texture. Overall it feels sturdy, heavy duty, if anything I walk fine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> The arm prosthetic is much different, it’s sleek, and the elbow has tiny threading wires and gears all hidden behind a wire mesh. The hand it covered by a tight black glove that I don't think I can take off without cutting it, I hadn't looked at the stump of my arm much, just letting it glide out of my line of sight, but  I slip the sock on noticing that the stump has thin  sliver lines going vertically all around it, I run my finger over it and find that it has the texture of metal, it even has hair thin scratches on the bands not unlike my wrist, I compare the two, my stomach twists and my head throbs a little</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Fine, I won't question that</span>
  </em>
  <span>  for whatever reason.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Connecting it to my stump sends an electric feeling jumping and writhing through my nerves, amazingly when I jolt, the arm moves with me, which startles me again making the arm jolt again, I stare in disbelief and move it around a couple times to test it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Putting on a new pair of pants is way easier this time around, throwing on a tie dye hoodie, I reach for the door handle but my other arm reaches up to my face, trailing the scarred surface. The bathroom had no mirrors luckily but I thought about going out, about people looking at me, I laugh, then begin frantically looking for some kind of mask or scarf, a chunky pair of hot pink sunglasses sit on the sink, I walk back into my room, find a strangely patterned yellow red and blue scarf and make do.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, what do you remember?” The rabbit is looking through the trash and sand and I follow behind him. The air is cold and I shrink into my hoodie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh..so, like, nothing r-realy just um” I trail off into silence trying to come up with a descriptor for what the inside of my head looks like. Clutching onto my scarf I talk again “Obviously I can talk to you so I remember the language, but um o-oth-the-other th-than that...pretty much no-th-nothing” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Nothing?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What year is it?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Um….” I trail off again and search my head, it ends up being useless to try and describe what i'm thinking but I come up with an answer anyway. “1997” I say confidently.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ouch, not even close, it's 2017, how the hell did you come up with that?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I stall on an answer, </span>
  <em>
    <span>2017 what the hell? </span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay so when you said nothing you really mean nothing huh?”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I just nod absentmindedly to answer.   </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This, take this” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I look down to where the jackrabbit was pawing in the sand, and there in the muck sits a chain, I crouch down to pick at it and my ankle clicks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What is it?” gently tugging at the chain frees it from the ground, on the end of the chain hangs a ring.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Its mine” jack answers “there too, and that as well”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I look up and go to collect the discarded items, in the end I have a necklace, a bloody knife and a packet of daffodil seeds.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Give me the necklace but keep the rest”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I loop the necklace around one of jacks horns and  stand again, only to be inches from someone else's face</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah” I gasp softly, hand flittering up to grip my scarf, stumbling back a couple steps “hi?.....um uh hell-he hi”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Its dead, idiot”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh?” I make a strangled noise in the back of my throat and jackrabbit laughs. I inch closer to the figure noticing their unnaturally pale tone, more strikingly their ember eyes, it's not a violent color and again a memory comes stumbling in from the corner of my eyes. But all I can visualize is a toothy smile and chocolate skin, red paint, red eyes, red hair, red.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What the fuck are you doing”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I flinch and drop my hands to my side, they must have been reaching out to the figure because it looks at me strangely too.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wh-what um-i swallow- who is it”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“A ghoul, a ghost, whatever”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I wasn't talking about the ghost</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh.” I regain the courage to look into its eyes again “why are you here?” The ghost shrugs and moves past me and my eyes follow it until it dissipates behind a column, I then turn the question to jack.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why would I know? Besides you’ll probably meet more of them. Ghosts aren't the same as souls, they linger and drift so of course they gravitate to beaches. They’re like the flotsam of the other sea, light enough to be carried anywhere.” we start walking again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There are at least six questions I want to ask almost immediately but I settle on “okay”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I should probably mention this but not everyone can see those”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ghosts?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Spirits in general, to be honest I still think that's weird coming from a society run on superpowers”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jackrabbit stumbles and his next step and looks up at me in blank eyes</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“.....do… do you know what quirks are?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Um” I start to think hard again, the word is faint but I remember Ms. Midoriya talking about them earlier “like, a certain part of someone, or uh something like that. I though Ms. Midoriya was talking about how weird heroes are”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So you know what heroes are?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“People that do good things?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re shitting me”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fairly sure I am not” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jackrabbit sighs and I feel kind of bad for him, another ghost strolls past us followed by another two. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, Jesus, you really weren't kidding when you said you don't remember </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I just shrug, rinsing the knife in a nearby puddle only to immediately start to pick at my nails with it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Quirks are just superpowers, special abilities that everyone that everyone has, each person has their own power, like a fingerprint, heroes are just professionals, they stop people that use quirks for their own gain”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh” I stayed silent for a long while. “Isn't that..called...”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Soldier, state your tatari for the troops”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span> Something cold sits in the back of my throat, I remember. Fighting. I remember- red- why?- meat and smoke- why? What was I fighting for?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Why was I fighting again? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I just want- why can’t they just-? Why? I just want to live- I want- I want - I want -i ..</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Somebody is screaming</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The beach you idiot, get to the-</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Red, in the end it was just red.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Kid! Kid holy fuck just breathe!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Everything snaps into blinding clarity, and I can hear my breathing and the beach and jackrabbit and the ghostsaresinging-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kid! Breathe” jacks claws are digging into my shoulders and my knees are digging into the sand. It's cold.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Except it's not that easy, so I just strangled on all fours, bowed over myself like I'm praying until the panic tires itself out from sparking around in my head.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I-its n-n-not-not ev-ev-every-one”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Only- only -a-a few-few people -hav-ve….ta-ta.. qu-quirks-quirks”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, it's pretty much everyone, what the hell happened?” I try so desperately to answer but my throat rebels and the cold something fights my voice tooth and nail.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“S-ss-oo-r-y” is all I manage to choke out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wow that's so edgy. Are you done?” I shrink away from the anger in his voice but still nod slowly. I don't look him in the eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Never ever ever look them in the eye</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Then get up we might as well head back, pick up your glasses no-one want to see that shit” scrambling for the glasses I smear them  with water and sweat. Jackrabbit is already seven paces ahead so I stumble to catch up to him, still gripping the knife.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And hide the knife dumbass, we’ll get stopped for it”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I stuff it under my hoodie, the cold metal gets slid into my sleeve and I shiver from the cold sand sticking to my shins. Jackrabbit is still seven paces ahead and my mouth still feels like sand, and red. And meat. And. smoke. And-</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Enough</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I keep walking.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>The morning is cold and katsuki puffs into his scarf and increases his pace, hoping to get to the heat of the classroom faster.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shitty Deku’s probably already at school” he murmurs</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He rounds a corner and ducks into a narrow passageway between a ramen store and a flower stall, its a shortcut on most days.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Today is not most days</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Katsuki almost collides with a strangers back and stumbles back a few steps, its a group of older kids from his school, they form a ring around a crumpled figure on the ground, his shoulders are folded inwards and he has looping curls of hair that overshadow his eyes, his face looks worn and confused.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His face is bruised and a globule of blood sloughs from his chin and splatters to the floor.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Katsuki gasps and the figure in front of him spins on his heels.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh hey! Baku-chan long time no see!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you want” katsuki refuses to look at the man on the floor.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Nothin, I was just surprised to see you here” the face in front of him smiles bright and true and Katsuki feels sick. “You don't have to worry about this guy, we just thought, ya know as up and coming heroes we should familiarize ourselves  with the undesirables of the neighborhood”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“..okay and? I just want to get to class” the man is looking up and him now and there's lilacs? There are petals in his hair.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>How did I not notice that?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey baku-chan you should get ba-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There are petals. In. his hair, they curl and dance in his eyes, like the shitty bookmarks that no one buys, the lilacs hum and sing and-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A sharp crackle of energy splinters the illusion and the man wails, clawing at his wrists, quirk suppressors then, the violent kind.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You  fucker!” the extra snaps with such sudden vitriol that katsuki jumps.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You think. That you can just get. Away with that?” the line is interrupted by the extra kicking the man across the face. "look at me when I'm fucking talking you shit”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And- the kid so suddenly sounds familiar that a wave of dejavu swamps Katsuki</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man looks up “wha-wh-whyy w-whad- i-i d-do-do?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> his lip is split and the stutter makes him almost indecipherable, but Katsuki has heard this before, Katsuki could understand because maybe he alone had heard those words before, had seen those same tears folded like wet tissue into the creases of scuffed knees and the cathartic motions of picking somebody else's skin from underneath his fingernails.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He just- just looked </span>
  <em>
    <span>so familiar.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>One of the boys laughed sharply as the extra stomped down on the man's wrists and the man whimpered, pawing desperately at the ankle grinding his bones together. The man's head rolled, his eyes spinning trying to find a resting place</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He looked at Katsuki.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And his eyes were green</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Help me” he mouthed, the blood flowering around his face much like the petals in his hair, but in the end it was just red, there was just blood on his face and in his hair and in his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Help me” he wheezed, eyes so green </span>
  <em>
    <span>and so fucking familiar.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The shadow of a shadow looked at Katsuki.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Katsuki looked away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man with the lilacs in his hair, shadows in his eyes, blood on his face  and chains on his wrists looked at katsuki.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But Katsuki was gone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And in his place a spinning, winding wind, tying filigree red thread to fingertips and tearing petals from flowers.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>
    <a href="https://www.deviantart.com/thepatriarchy42069/art/3451d3a3-575c-4d08-afbf-37bd345bca91-856913391">ayyyy moar art, dont worry about context for this one, you get that l8tr, wayyy l8tr tho</a>
  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>fun facts!:</p>
<p>there exists the body, the mind and the soul. one cannot be without the others, without the body, the mind and soul are without vessel. without the mind the body and the soul would be driven to tragedy. without the soul the body and the mind would be driven to insanity. it is in this way the world has been balanced and in this way the fundamentals of the other place can be driven from. further research in needed to cement my theories however I feel that I am upon a breakthrough.</p>
<p>an excerpt from the journal of professor Okuta, which was confiscated by the RJIF (royal Japanese investigation force) after his disappearance. the involvement of the RJIF  has been the center of many conspiracies about this particular incident</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. how good are you with keeping time? or at least keeping track of it</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>slowly chews bog cheese</p><p>so for like the 60ish ppl that have read this &lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;3 i wuld die 4 u but also im ver sorry for how slow i update, i always try to speed things up but i never rlly do<br/>anyhoose pls tell me if somethin is succy beacuse i am unabble to type legible tings<br/>as always defund the police and remember that yoour alowed to be selfish sometimes!<br/>stay safe &lt;&lt;33</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The trek back to the apartment was nothing short of exhausting, easy for Jack though, as he was a ghost rabbit, but I, a bipedal, had to suffer the consequences of walking upright.</p><p> </p><p>“Your just out of shape, we’ll fix that”</p><p> </p><p>“Don't like how ominous that sounds” I panted, finally reaching Ms Midoriya's floor, you had to take the stairs as </p><p> </p><ol>
<li>You needed a card to get onto the elevator, I had hopped in after some one else only to realise that-</li>
<li>Ms Midoriya's floor was the maintenance floor, and you couldn't get there with the elevator, meaning that I had to get off with the other person, a tall blonde lady, and awkwardly fumble in my pockets like I was looking for my keys until she entered his apartment then go down the fire escape way</li>
</ol><p> </p><p>Upon opening the door glass smashed and a squeal sounded from the kitchen, I slid off my shoes then gently closed the door behind me and called out</p><p> </p><p>“Ms Midoriya? Are you okay?” There was a soft sound of affirmation and of glass grinding against tile, the grain of the sound made my teeth itch.</p><p> </p><p>“I-izu-zuku you di-don't tell me t-that-that you were going out!” Ms Midoriya whimpered, she sounded terrified, her voice shaking, barley above  whisper </p><p> </p><p>“I didn't know I needed to” I shakily replied “i was only gone for about an hour” mis Midoriya's face crumpled and my heart sank</p><p> </p><p>“I kno-know b-but, I tho-ought that -y-you-you-” she cut herself off and buried her face in her hands, I didn't know what to do, I hovered my hand over her shoulder as she sobbed</p><p> </p><p>“Im so-sorry, im re-realy-y” my throat clogged up again, the y sound catching my tongue again and wrestling it into immobility</p><p> </p><p>“Don-dont be, this si-silly old women-en just  ~she sucked in a breath~ next ti-tim ple-please, te-x-xt me every so of-often okay” she looked up at me wiping tears from her eyes, my mouth was still fused at the jaw and my whole body felt just too hot, I couldn't reply, and red was writhing in the corner of my eye. I nodded instead and teetered on the back of my heels, leaning away from her.</p><p> </p><p>“You-you look tired, l-let me cl-lean up and-and-and~she cleared her throat, wiping her face again~ill bring you some food okay?” I just nodded again and fled to the hallway, eyes glued to the ice cold tiles beneath my feet.</p><p> </p><p>-sexy line break-</p><p> </p><p>Jackrabbit and I were back at the beach the next day, Ms Midoriya had given me a phone, I had stared in shocked amazement and thanked her then promised her that I would text her every 20 minutes or so and she even helped me set up a timer for it</p><p> </p><p>“This is so cool” I murmured flipping through my phones settings</p><p> </p><p>“It's really not, it's just a shitty flip phone” Jack grumbled, I just shrugged and stuffed it in my pocket.</p><p> </p><p>“So.. what now?” we had arrived at the beach again and Jack was leading me through the winding road of sand and trash, a ghost watched us form a spire not too far away.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re going to africa” Jack stated, not at all concerned with the lack of context</p><p> </p><p>I stumbled on a tire sticking out of the sand</p><p> </p><p>“What” I blurted, Jack just laughed then scrambled onto a microwave, precariously balanced on a tv.</p><p> </p><p>“Sit down, it's time for me to lay down some exposition, get- sit down”</p><p> </p><p>I backed up a few paces and brushed some dust and sand off a crusty looking couch, my hand came away blackened by mold, and it was then that I realised that the couch was supposed to be a soft cream colour, I just shrugged and then collapsed into it, it made a few crunching sound, and something with way too many legs raced across my thigh.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay- is that really what you’re gonna- okay you know what, I don't care. So~Jack cleared his throat~ to get to UA you need a quirk, or at least something, so this is how we’re gonna do it. There is something called the mind, the body and the soul, and you can do some pretty funky things with it. You're lucky a friend of mine knows so much about this, but anyway. We need to get your fitness up first, to at least were you can cimb the fucking stairs without having to take a break”</p><p> </p><p>I look away , refusing to acknowledge the last part “so what does the mind and other stuff do” I murmur mockingly </p><p> </p><p>Jack narrows his eyes “Don't really worry about that right now, all you need to know is that you can make your own magik stronger by training it, and right now we are going to train your body magik”</p><p> </p><p>“By going to africa?, by using what? Magic? Are you-you” I ventured “that's so- are you serious? how-”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, by using soul magik to travel through a leyline” Jackrabbit cuts me off</p><p> </p><p>I raise my hands in defeat “woah woah woah, okay so-what?.. I don't….” confusion clogs my brain and Jack laughs.</p><p> </p><p>“Listen stupid, just dont ask questions, youll learn as you go along, lets go!” Jack then sprung from his ledge and bounded away through the trash. </p><p>He disappears before I can even get up from the couch, I step after him scanning the area, I turn, the couch is gone</p><p> </p><p>“What” I whisper, still reeling from all the information Jack dumped on me, I turn again but instead of the path I was following, a large pile of trash is blocking my way, one that definitely wasn't there before. Jack is gone. I step around it and start picking up speed.</p><p> </p><p>“Jackrabbit?” I called out, the towers are getting taller “Jackrab-bit” my chest is getting cold and the towers,-they-they look like-</p><p> </p><p>“Jack!” my voice breaks</p><p> </p><p>The towers, they look like trees</p><p> </p><p>“Ja-” I'm breathing heavy, and my voice drowns in the leaves, a man runs past me, his face is gaunt as bones, clutching an old rifle like you would someone's throat.</p><p> </p><p>“      !” I turn, and there is another man, looking at me.</p><p> </p><p>“      !, move, you idiot, run!” but he is smothered by the jungle before he takes another step towards me.</p><p> </p><p>“<em> Jack </em>” I just mouth the words and turn again, with my chest heaving for air, breathing in the mist of blood, I turn again and-</p><p> </p><p>“Jesus kid, how unfit <em> are </em>you, this is pathetic” Jack looks up at me from the ground, i'm still breathing hard but it feels so much fresher than a few seconds ago</p><p> </p><p>“Im-im -i-got-g-got” my hands fist in my Jacket, pulling the scarf up so that I can bury myself in it, inhaling the clean detergent instead of rust.</p><p> </p><p>“Still think magik is bullshit?, oh, what happened, get upset? A little lost? God, what are you a three year old?, get it together, i'm not dealing with this shit”</p><p> </p><p>I sniff quietly, muffling my hiccups in the scarf</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> What was that, who-, where was I? Was that a memory? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Wh-whe-er-re did-did-did you go-go? I barely manage to spit out the line, I thank my lucky stars that Jack has such good hearing.</p><p> </p><p>“I didn't go anywhere, that was mind magik, since there is so much trash around here it affects the energy that moves through the place, people with strong memories can get lost here because it warps you into your past, since I have strong magik so you were protected by my aura, when I turned it off you freaked out” Jack laughed, it was starting to sound less and less like a laugh every time I heard it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Warps you into your past? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“That was really something to watch, not even children get lost like you did in there, the only things that get stuck like you did are ghosts, and that's because they literally have no brain, so...” he was grinning at me, all teeth.</p><p> </p><p>“fine-fine-fine-e ….” nothing more would come out so just shuffled my feet, pulling at my hair</p><p> </p><p>“Fine what? Never mind, lets just go” he turns and bounds off again, I follow him very closely this time and after clambering up a small hill of sharp metals and bruising my shin, we arrive at what must be a pier, there is even trash stacked up from the ocean, leaning onto the concrete structure.</p><p> </p><p>The sea air floated over the forgotten iron, the rust gently leaning on the bridge, the sea like blood filling the scrapyard, breathing life into the empty halls of torn teddy bears and gold rings thrown with screams that would rend a heart in two. For a second the beach felt alive, so rotten and twisted, but alive and breathing and struggling for breath like a cooling corpse seconds from release. </p><p> </p><p>We kept walking when a gust of wind blew the hood from around my face, the sea salt air filled my lungs and they echoed with a grief I <em> still </em> couldn't understand and for a second the sand around me spoke again whispered with a past so buried that I could pick grains of dirt from my hair and ponder the thoughts they held.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘“Do you think we’ll make it?” I asked a small figure on my left, we were dancing on the wet sand, endless stars above us. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Yes” they whispered, like the stars were watching us </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Liar” I whispered back, because they are </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Jack and I stood on the edge of the pier, the only place not kissed by remains, soft grey clouds floated above us, obscuring the sky, there was no sound here, not even a whisper, or a whisper of a whisper, just a hollow bubble where we stood untouched by the ghosts of lost thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>“Jump” Jack says, I look down at him, then back up a few steps and jump.</p><p> </p><p>The winds pick up, popping the bubble of quiet and ruffling my hair, for one moment I was not falling. For one moment I felt alive, so rotten and twisted, but alive and breathing and struggling for breath like a cooling corpse seconds from release. for just one moment I was dancing on sand again, for one moment the winds whispers in my ears, words  so fast I could barely them  make out</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Come back </em>
</p><p> </p><p>But some things never go back to the way they were, so I whispered apologies to the wind as I fell into the sleeping ocean.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>  “I can’t” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>I could swear the wind screamed, my foot was poised above the water , frozen in motion as the waves around me roiled.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You will </em>
</p><p> </p><p>And I finally fell, water cold as rain swirling around me,pulling me, light was fading fast, pale blue replaced by comforting blackness, I felt Jackrabbit latch his claws onto my shoulders, as my feet made contact with sand, the water ballooned away from me, in a titanic shockwave the water exploded outwards, drying me instantly, also dumping me onto hard ground as my knees buckled from the unexpected weight.</p><p> </p><p>I look up from the ground as forest surrounds me.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Katsuki sped past the school gates, dodging past some extras, and shoving his shoes into his locker and slipping into class a few extras were flipping through their phones, a soft hum of noise permeated the room, chairs gently scraping as people moved around, the whine of the heater, and the whisper of muted conversation.</p><p> </p><p>Midoriya izuku sat right up against the window, his side pressed to the glass as he gazed into the sky, as katsuki approached he turned to look at him </p><p> </p><p>“The fuck you want?” he snapped, deku flinched and flipped his notebook onto a random page. Katsuki sat down harshly behind him flipping open his notebook to start writing down the date for that days notes </p><p> </p><p>December 5th</p><p> </p><p>2016</p><p> </p><p>
  <a href="https://www.deviantart.com/thepatriarchy42069/art/05f2a3ea-d2a3-4ee0-a7bd-2966a40b695f-865402755">well well well, here we go again </a>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>fun facts!:</p><p>on July 3rd 1997 on Maui island, Hawaii seismic activity leaked magma directly into the fuel storage area contained underground. seven of the 12.5 million gallon tanks were compromised, as the petrol was exposed to the air a violent explosion decimated the area causing all 250 million gallons of fuel to combust, this created an explosion so incredible it caused the nearby military bases to be incinerated, Maui island has since been revealed to have been a site for the united states navy  to secretly manufacture missiles and submarine torpedoes. this information was leaked because the previous incident, while catastrophic was not enough to completely vaporise the island. of the 1,800 square kilometers only  3 remain. Every single life on the island had been lost, to this day the site remains a place of great mourning with graves lining the remains of the island, marking each unrecoverable body, each lost soul, to this day each of those 150,373 lives will be remembered, each year, on the anniversary of the event the island is open to visitors so that the lives lost can always be honoured and remembered.</p><p>professor Okuta Kagero  BHU university of Varansi, excerpt taken form his lecture on "tragedies of the modern world"</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Christmas everyday</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hnmngng snifs cat</p><p>Soz lads i have a rather advanced sence of time u see? So idk where it all whent, time i measn, but anyway be very very aware of the fact that i very much enjoy torturing people and also cannon is my bitch so i do what i want.</p><p>Also i just want to make something very clear, to anyone reading this, i would die and or kill for you, i wrote this shitass fanfic cuz i had nothing better to do and the idea kinda got to me and i had no idea people would actually read it so ily </p><p>Also to anyone who is gonna keep reading, just be fully aware taht the first part of this fic is like 90% character exploration and world building and  not cannon at all so if that’s your jam go ahead, but also know that i will 100% get a part where deku goes to UA with Katsuki and the gang, and most of the cannon events will probably happen with a twist, but like if it isn’t obvious I’m trying to get as many countries to fit in this fic as possible, and by no means do i know Russian and or like any other language I’m going to use in this fic except Afrikaans and maybe like the two words of japanese i know so like if you see any painful discrepancies in what i wrote please please let me know so i can fix it </p><p>Also (sorry for the big chunko writing) this story is stupid, amazingly convoluted and so so stupid, i have this dumbass notebook where i wrote down all my plot points because i have the memory of a wooden spoon and its like half full so if it gets confusing just yell at me in the comments and I’ll see if i can fix that without spoiling anything</p><p>(Or like dont do what you want)</p><p>But anyhoo read on and remember to eat something if u haven’t already :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>BakugouKatsuki hates Midoriya Izuku. Hates him like he hates the shitty kids that parade around the school, hates him because he thinks that he could stand where the rest of them stood, like he wasn’t the weakest of them all. Bakugou shrugs his shoulders, pulling his backpack higher up. He skips over the gutter to dash into an alley tucked past a flower shop, nodding to the shopkeeper. The old women smiles in a way that make her red eyes gleam.</p><p> </p><p>And there in the alley he meets a group of third years.</p><p> </p><p>The shortcut leads him to the dredges of the sports field. As he’s swinging himself over the fence, he notices shitty Deku leaning against the shed. The tall classrooms looming in the background like giants “The fuck are you doing here?” He asks.</p><p> </p><p>“Why do you want to be a hero?”</p><p> </p><p>Katsuki starts. Deku looks– well, he looks terrible. There are dark smudges under his eyes and his hair is mussed to one side.</p><p> </p><p>“What? Why do I? The fuck is that supposed to mean? Why wouldn’t I?”</p><p> </p><p>Deku’s eyes narrow and he pushes off the old rusty wall.</p><p> </p><p>“I mean why. Haven’t you noticed something? Are you not aware? Are you not living because of a reason? <em>Why</em>?”</p><p> </p><p>Katsuki flinches, red thread pulsing behind his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Moodozvon– what the fuck are you talking about?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m talking about your skewed morals, I’m talking about how you still haven’t noticed that nothing has changed.”</p><p> </p><p>Katsuki yelps, a spike of pain flowering between his eyes. Infinite loops of thread fighting and loosening, rolling and looping beneath his skin.</p><p> </p><p>“Zaebis what the fuck did you–“ Katsuki couldn’t finish his sentence, coils and loops of infinitely twisting cords explode behind his eyes brining him to his knees. He feels a tug on his hair and meeting Deku’s eyes and with all the pain and confusion all he can notice is that they’re very. <em>Painfully</em> green.</p><p> </p><p><em>“Wake up</em>!”</p><p> </p><p>Katsuki wakes up in class, jolting enough to send his pacer skittering to the floor, some kid returns it to him, eyes ruby, roiling red.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Bakugou Katsuki hates Midoriya Izuku</p><p> </p><p>What pisses him off isn’t the <em>incessant</em> yapping about wanting to become a hero, Deku seems to be the only person that doesn't see a problem with some quirkless deadweight jumping around the place. what pisses him off isn’tthe fact that it's the only thing he talks about or that none of the others seem to notice because they all have the same fucking problem. Sofia, who sits next to him has an honest to god script she follows every morning, it's the same thing</p><p> </p><p>"good morning Bakugou how was your morning? I hope we learn a lot today"</p><p> </p><p>and again it wouldn't be weird if he hadn't known her from birth, and if she hadn't said the exact same thing to him every. single. day.</p><p> </p><p>Alexander on his left has had the same obsessive interest in some shitty old manga series that hasn't been updated since the 60's and he knows this because he had checked. because it is legitimately the only thing he ever gets from him.</p><p> </p><p>"hey Katsu! ever heard of Dororo?”</p><p> </p><p>the twins behind him are so fickle they give him headaches whenever they try to decide on something and sometimes they switch topics so suddenly he gets whiplash from eavesdropping.</p><p> </p><p>But this is all Bakugou has ever known, rehearsed lines and plastic smiles, everyone around him ticking like clockwork.</p><p> </p><p>Today. Bakugou katsui hates Midoriya Izuku because he broke everything.</p><p> </p><p>It’s a bit complicated but it’s goes like this-</p><p> </p><p>One day he wonders up to the roof in the middle of class (Bakugou does whatever he wants because the teachers don't have the words to deal with him) and finds Deku sitting against the chain-link fence.</p><p> </p><p>He turns to him and-</p><p> </p><p>“You’re being still haven’t answered my question”</p><p> </p><p>And Bakugou starts, nobody has ever been rude to him, or curt, he yells and screams and they just smile and pat him on the shoulder(no one has ever been exactly kind either but Katsuki doesn’t know the difference)</p><p> </p><p>“Kakogo chyorta?” He stutterers</p><p> </p><p>Deku brings a finger up to his lips and beckons him over, between his feet is a notepad and pen, on it are a few words</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>When we get back to class ask the teacher when he started teaching.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Wha-” Deku shushes him again just pointing to the note, a bird squawks overhead and Deku snatches up the note</p><p> </p><p>“I know its stupid but these notes could help me become a hero!”</p><p> </p><p>And he’s back, his big doe eyes shining with tears but- it just doesn’t look the same as before.</p><p> </p><hr/><p>“Bakugou please sit down”</p><p> </p><p>“I just have a question”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, go ahead”</p><p> </p><p>“When did you start teaching?”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s a strange- when- when did i? Wait a second what am I do- um wait- ”</p><p> </p><p>The teacher stumbles out of the room, clutching his head and Bakugou feels something shift behind his eyes a sound like glass slipping against glass as pieces tremble in place.</p><p> </p><p>Because the teacher just said words, words that Bakugou has never heard from him before.</p><p> </p><p>None of the other students move, Bakugou looks to Deku.</p><p> </p><p>He just shakes his head-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The door opens again and— out- comesŢ̴͎̞̠͇̹̦͓̭̰͙̖̣̹͔̯̬̺̗̩̰͈̼͖̳̯͍͙̿͑̐͆̇̀̉̆͛̾͒͛̎̈́̓̓̑̑̌͛͐͐͐̔̾̅́͋̎̈́̕͝h̷̛̯̮͈͚̟̖͚̻͕̻̾̋̐͐̍̓͋̈̐͊̓̎̑̀̍̃͊͗̎̽͑̌̑̓͜͜͝ͅe ̸̢͙͚̦̹̞̹̱̥̜̜̤͈̫̟͎̘̜̌ͅͅim̶̨̧̡̢͔̝̤̫̥͓̖̯̪̝̗̠̜̗̳̬̙̠͕͖͋͘ͅa̶̢̢̛̖͓͔̳͕̖̦̞̠͕̱̳̱̯̺̼̝͙̓͆̓̾̇̽͒̓́̒̑̓̽̐̓̈́̇̈́̚͜͝͝͝g̵̨̧̨͚̗̹̱̜̥̮̪̲̬̻̰̮̱͔͉̣̪͓̬̙̈̋̀̃͒͂͝͝ȇ̷̛̛̺̱̰̬̗̾̏̐̎̍̀̓̀̓̈́́̈̋̋̔̀</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Bakugou wakes up at home, he vaults out of bedand skips all the second steps, stumbling into the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>“Dityado you want breakfast?”</p><p> </p><p>“Mama what’s going on?”</p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean? I’m making breakfast”</p><p> </p><p>Frustration bubbled as heat flushed across Bakugou’s cheeks.</p><p> </p><p>“Listen to me mama something isn’t right!” He stressed, grabbing onto her arms “something happened at school! Theres. There’s something there!”</p><p> </p><p>“What-what do you mean? I’m making breakfast!”</p><p> </p><p>Bakugou whined shaking his head at his mothers blank face.</p><p> </p><p>“Mama please” he begged his voice wavering.</p><p> </p><p>Her face twitched and she snatched him into her arms.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry Ditya”</p><p> </p><p>There its was again, words that broke from the line, splintered from the carefully constructed script that his mama ran through, what was going on? Why did the teacher so suddenly say something different why did he act so strange? Why wouldn’t his mama say anything?</p><p> </p><p>She steps back, standing suddenly ramrod strait.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on ditya, its time for school” her smile almost reachers her ears but fat tears roll down her cheeks it looks painful, it looks like someone had pinched the edges of her lips and stretched them as far as they could go. Bakugou cried out as her lips began to split, tiny. glinting slivers of blood shone on her mouth</p><p> </p><p>“Go” she whispered, barely able to form the word.</p><p> </p><p>Bakugou ran to school, flying through the gap in the shops, the old ladysmiles, eyes as red as ever, Katsuki slams into one of the third years, they turn to face him-</p><p> </p><p>red, their eye's hold twisting coils of red thread.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh hey baku-chan long time no see!”</p><p> </p><p>Katsuki’s gaze snaps to the man on the ground, his eye’s are green, green enough that not even a glimmer of red remains, devouring the glinting threads.</p><p> </p><p>He vaults over the hollow shadow bounding past the crowd coalescing at some new cafe and throws himself at the old chain link fence, Deku is still leaning against the old shed, like he had never moved.</p><p> </p><p>“Why do you want to be hero”</p><p> </p><p>“Becau-because.” And Bakugou feels like someone has taken his own words from him.</p><p> </p><p>“Because its always been that way? Deku snaps “I’m so tired of this Kacchan”</p><p> </p><p>Bakugou cant answer because the image rounds the corner and they’re down before Katsuki can even scream.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Bakugou Katsuki hates Midoriya Izuku, becuase—</p><p> </p><p>He runs into the alley way- a shortcut to the back of the school, green eyes-</p><p> </p><p>Deku is leaning against the shed and the classrooms look like they grow everyday.</p><p> </p><p>“Please don't make me do this again” Deku wheezes, he less leaning, more clinging to the shed holding onto it like it could hold him together “why, why are you doing this why cant you just realise something is wrong” he is not asking.</p><p> </p><p>“How much have we done this, how many times have you asked me that”</p><p> </p><p>Deku laughs, its doesn't sound like broken glass or shredded fabric, it just sounds like a laugh.</p><p> </p><p>“As long as I can remember, since I figured out I could break myself from the loop and every day since then”</p><p> </p><p>“Blyat, when”</p><p> </p><p>“I don't know, since we were kids kacchan”</p><p> </p><p>And Bakugou has to wonder, just has to, because how many times has stupid Deku tried to save him, how many times did they repeat a day, how many times did they skip stones and play hero’s, how many times. Katsuki wonders, did he steal Deku’s notebook, pull his hair and burn his arms, how many times did he jump over a fence and forget the reason he wanted to be a hero.</p><p> </p><p>“Why” he hissed.</p><p> </p><p>Deku shifts, face scrunched and frowning “because you’re my friend, because I care about you”</p><p> </p><p>Katsuki wants to scream, punch him for being stupid, for trying to save him more times than he can remember, for caring about him.</p><p> </p><p>The image rounds the corner, and Katsuki has time to scream before he’s down.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Bakugou Katsuki hates Midoriya Izuku.</p><p> </p><p>Why?</p><p> </p><p>Bakugou katsui hates Midoriya Izuku.</p><p> </p><p>But why, give me an actual reason.</p><p> </p><p>Bakugou Katsuki hates Midoriya because he’s quirkless and weak, because he’s stubborn and doesn't understand him.</p><p> </p><p>Bakugou skips over the curb, past the old lady with the red eyes, meets the third years and Deku, leaning against the shed.</p><p> </p><p>“Why do you-“ Deku wheezes and sinks to the grass, the classrooms behind him are tall enough to blot out the sun.</p><p> </p><p>“What the fuck are you doing here?” Katsuki says, and they talk, short clipped sentences that still make Katsuki feel like he’s talked for hours, maybe he has.</p><p> </p><p>“I want you to be free” Deku finally says, like it doesn't have the weight of thousands of days trying to break someone else out a cage, like it’s just words. just sounds. like its nothing.</p><p> </p><p>“And why me. why no-one else?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because” Deku looks around the corner, he’s expecting something “because I <em>care</em> and because-” Deku looks right at him, right in his eyes just as something rounds the corner, he has enough time to say “because its your quirk”</p><p> </p><p>Bakugou Katsuki hates Midoriya Izuku.</p><p> </p><p>Bakugou is standing in front of the old shed as buildings cast shadows the ground, it’s late, late enough that school might already be over.</p><p> </p><p>“What did you say” he snarls.</p><p> </p><p>Deku whimpers on the ground “ I want to break you out because you’re my friend, and because it would break everyone out”</p><p> </p><p>Bakugou is just about thirteen, just young enough to take somethings without question, but old enough to see when things made sense because Bakugou has red eyes, red, red, red. Like the old lady, like the third years, like his mama and his teacher, like the kids in class, like everyone.</p><p> </p><p>Except Deku, Deku and that shadow and-</p><p>And-</p><p>And that-</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>I̵̟̥̱̜͑̽̊̊̽̄́͂̈́̐̔͂͠ m̷̡̳͖̝̮̞̼͈͛͂̐̔̾̄͘̚͜ͅ ą̵̛̰̥̦̬͖̾̒̄̃̈́̎̉̃̃̉̅̚͠͝ g̷̨̢̢̳͔̝͇̩̝̀̈́͑̔̆͜ e̸̡̯̫̙̰̳̓́</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Bakugou Katsuki-</p><p> </p><p>Katsuki has had enough, he walks to school, walks past the third years, the extra’s in their own life, background characters that just squabble in his peripherals, he walks to Deku sitting by the old shed in front of the tallest buildings in the school.</p><p> </p><p>“What do I do? how do I stop it?” </p><p> </p><p>deku smiles up at him and for a while it stays that way, they run and the image catches them, Katsuki tries to fight and they run some more, he wakes up,hates for just a second then runs again.</p><p> </p><p>One day, Katsuki’s hands are bloody and Deku’s missing teeth, they jump into a ditch by the river and the image bounds over them, spraying dirt and flecks of blood down on them, but it keeps running.</p><p> </p><p>“I dont get it, I dont get it at all, how is this my quirk?, how do you even know?”</p><p> </p><p>Deku clears his throat, spitting something out on the ground “because your quirk isn’t really explosions is it?”</p><p> </p><p>Bakugou makes a noise and Deku takes his shaking hands in his, slipping into a more comfortable position, he looks over his shoulder then back to Katsuki.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, we have a little time, basically ever since we were kids, I’ve forgotten the exact day but a long while ago, days began resetting, I thought I was going crazy or that it was my quirk at first”</p><p> </p><p>Deku clears his throat spitting out blood again, Katsuki’s hands had stopped shaking.</p><p> </p><p>“But I realised that it wasn’t my quirk, for obvious reasons but. It wasn’t yours either”</p><p> </p><p>“Ha? Poshyel k chyertu You said it was?”</p><p> </p><p>Deku scoots a little closer, both of them have their legs crossed and Katsuki is pretty sure his foot is falling asleep but he doesn't move, Deku pulls Katsuki’s hands up and flips them so the palms are facing upward.</p><p> </p><p>“I have this theory. Tha-that this, this-he gestures around-is the result of somebody else quirk, who used it on you, I’m talking specifically about the red eye stuff, your eyes used to be brownish, like your dad. But!-deku interrupts Katsuki, looking over his shoulder again- I think you were too strong, they couldn’t take it back, now their stuck and your stuck and- I just, I know your quirk is different, here!”</p><p> </p><p>Deku lets go of his hands, but pulls them facing up again when Katsuki drops them.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you remember, um this old book I got you? Christmas everyday?”</p><p> </p><p>Katsuki did, surprisingly, thinking back Deku had probably given him that book a good few times</p><p> </p><p>“Okay so, close your eyes, just do it, okay, think about it, how it felt or-or smelled, it was a library book right? it had the old hessian cover? And on the back, there was this big scratch, all the threads were comming loose- an-</p><p> </p><p>Deku’s voice kinda faded out from there, in fact, so did the feeling of his hands, so did everything- Katsuki felt nothing at all, like just when your about to fall asleep but catch yourself but at that point nothing really makes sense so-</p><p> </p><p>The book, Katsuki thought about the book, the prickly fabric and the threads that he used to pull out and run under his nails- and then- there’s this light, which is impossiblebecause Katsuki isn’t seeing anything right now, anything, but the light remains growing out of nothing, but its not light at all, its sparks and flashes of impossible shapes and small grains so tiny Katsuki barely feels them crawl over his skin, it feels like ants are walking all over his arms, marching to pool into his palms, not painful at all but everything and nothing at the same time, another spark and a low boom of sound, Katsuki’s eyes snap open.</p><p> </p><p>And in his hands is a book, Christmas everyday.</p><p> </p><p>“Blyat!”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, your quirk is so cool!, so amazing, seriously” stupid Deku is grinning ear to ear as he takes Christmas everyday from Katsuki’s hands.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m pretty sure you could make anything if you wanted to, once I saw you drop a double decker bus on the image, it was badass. I think about this a lot but your explosions are probably from atoms and antimatter destroying each other, but you know on maybe a smaller scale, if that’s even possible, I mean how would I even know I’m just a kid but anyway! If you try your can make just normal matter or just antimatter, in my head I renamed your quirk ya know? I call it!”</p><p> </p><p>Deku flings his hands upward</p><p> </p><p>“Big bang! Eh? What do you think?”</p><p> </p><p>Katsuki numbly looks from the book up to Deku’s shining eyes</p><p> </p><p>“That’s how i know the loop isn’t you, once we had some time to figure out what you could make and ended up trying to figure out what you couldn’t since it would be easier. You tried really hard once but you couldn’t make anything like a wormhole or portal, you got close but it always collapsed”</p><p>
  
</p><p>Deku glanced over his shoulder briefly.</p><p> </p><p>Katsuki hummed he wasn’t as surprised as he thought he’d be, maybe they’d had this conversation before, this day.</p><p> </p><p>“The image, I think is tied to your quirk, maybe when that person tried to take their quirk back it got caught on something, to be honest I never got to test my theories, all I really know for sure is that if you die the day resets, but also if someone else dies and you see it, and that I’m the only person that remembers, and its probably because of my eyes, that red eye quirk doesn’t work on people with green eyes. Oh and also the image only goes after you if you realise your in a loop”</p><p> </p><p>“That doesn't make a lot of sense” Katsuki snarks</p><p> </p><p>Deku looks over his shoulder again and sighs, leaning backwards so that he can stand up.</p><p> </p><p>“eh, it’s not really meant to, It was a good run today, we lasted really long and I got to tell you about your quirk for real so”</p><p> </p><p>Deku looks like he’s about to say goodbye, but the image gets to them before that can happen.</p><p> </p><p>The next day Katsuki spills concrete blocks from between his fingers like he hid them up his sleeve, and laughs when Deku looks at him in surprise, after a while though Deku tells him, very very quietly that this was the longest it had ever ever been since Katsuki had remembered as much as he did. The day after that, Katsuki tells Deku in great detail all the past happens of the last few months, Deku sobs into his shoulder, digging his nails so hard into Katsuki’s shoulder blades that they leave marks for a while after, he screams something in his ear, loud enough that it echos of the clouds and into the sky.</p><p> </p><p>But, but Katsuki.</p><p> </p><p>He.</p><p> </p><p>To be honest he had forgotten what he had said that day, forgotten what Izuku had screamed to the wind as if it would have listened.</p><p> </p><p>The next time Katsuki sees Deku, he’s leaning against some old shed as if he owned it, and he snarls “The fuck are you doing here?”</p><p> </p><p>And they start again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p>And again</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>.....................................................</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>eventually though, he walks up to Deku, to the shadows of the tall building and asks him something before he can ask first.</p><p> </p><p>“How many times” and wasn’t that the big question just how many times has Bakugou Katsuki woken up and thought. Enough, how many times did Deku have to smile at him because it had already happened.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe since forever maybe ever since they could.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay, I’m not so tired anymore, we can try again”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Katsuki knows he’s dreaming, mostly because the shitty Deku in front of him looks just over a couple years old and also because he seems a lot closer to the ground than usual </p><p> </p><p>He’s walking through the forest and Deku goes to follow him, Alexander behind him is crowing some theme song from a show none of them have watched but know the lyrics to anyway.</p><p> </p><p>In front of him is the fallen tree, he takes a brazen few steps on the mossy wood and slips, though, he swears that it felt like he was pulled.</p><p> </p><p>Deku is in front of him, holding out his hand, his eye itches so he goes to rub it as he takes his hand, smiling.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks Deku!”</p><p> </p><p>Katsuki wishes he had never taken his hand, wishes that Deku had never cared about him.</p><p> </p><p>Why had he even called him Deku in the first place?</p><p> </p><p>Oh yeah, maybe the third day of school when he had been introduced to the class, he had his name written on the board and-</p><p> </p><p>“Deku?”</p><p> </p><p>“Ah no Katsuki that’s the alternate reading of this kanji, it’s read Izuku”the teacher had corrected</p><p> </p><p>Then at lunch</p><p> </p><p>“I kinda like Deku” came the small voice</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?” He squinted “you know what it means?”</p><p> </p><p>“No”</p><p> </p><p>Katsuki stared for a little bit more</p><p> </p><p>“It means, ‘you can do it’”</p><p> </p><p>Katsuki is in the forest, with some vague understanding he knows this is the day he had first awakened his quirk, not because he recognised anything, just because it’s a dream and he just knows.</p><p> </p><p>He’s running through the forest, blood roaring in his ears as adrenaline floods his veins, moments before he had all but incinerated a bed of clovers when he tripped by accident.</p><p> </p><p>Something shifts in the corner of his vision and he turns to look, stumbling, at first glance Katsuki had thought it was a kid from class and with all the air in his lungs falling out he realised.</p><p> </p><p>It had no eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Smooth skin from head to toe, and a spine that bulged out as it crouched lower, sparks flashed in his hands as it launched towards him.</p><p> </p><p>It struck with a force that rattled his teeth, with rubbery paws it pressed down on his throat, it didn’t have hands just soft cartridge nubs that fumbled and bent in awkward angles in some imitation of hands.</p><p> </p><p>It was getting the job done though, because Katsuki was just a kid, and he couldn’t- br-ea-t-h</p><p> </p><p>He hears- Deku? Someone. Someone is screaming and- Katsuki wakes up, in his bed? then with a sudden jolt of fear and shock, wakes up again panting, drawing his rough hands across his neck to banish the feeling of soft flesh crushing him.</p><p> </p><p>This time Deku is sitting with his head resting against the shed.</p><p> </p><p>“You lied” Katsuki says before Deku notices him.</p><p> </p><p>“Deku pulls his head from the roof, wide eyes glinting with surprise”</p><p> </p><p>“This, this is your quirk”</p><p> </p><p>dawning horror on Deku’s face makes cold fear flash down Katsuki’s spine.</p><p> </p><p>“Wai-wait how did you-”</p><p> </p><p>But Katsuki has him flat on the ground his knuckles skidding off hard cheekbones and flaying themselves on Deku’s brow</p><p> </p><p>“You did this<em>you</em>”</p><p> </p><p>Bakugou Katsuki <em>fucking hates</em> Midoriya izuku</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Why?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Because he’s fucking a liar that’s fucking why.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He hates him so fucking much because Katsuki wasn’t shocked, <em>couldn’t</em> be because he had <em>already</em> <em>known</em>, already known since the beginning to hate him.</p><p> </p><p>“My mother!” Katsuki screamed, twisting his hands into deku’s shirt “my mother and my father suffered!, every day! Your mother! And the shadow! And the third years! How could you!?”</p><p> </p><p>“I had to, I <em>had</em> to! That thing would go after you day after day, nothing stops it Kacchan and believe me when I say I have tried <em>everything</em> and it doesn’t stop. it never stops”</p><p> </p><p>“I don't care! How dare you how fucking dare you, how dare you decide my life is worth this much suffering, how dare you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because you were my friend you asshole! Because whatever I did you <em>died</em> and I couldn’t- I couldn’t, Katsuki I couldn’t live with that”</p><p> </p><p>Deku’s voice had withered into heaves of breath, his voice breaking on the last syllable into a dead whisper, but Katsuki was angry, too angry to think, to much air in his lungs and a heat flush across his cheeks, just too much, like he would burst at the seems and leak magma and plasma born from the very first explosion.</p><p> </p><p>Deku broke out into miserable sobs, chest heaving as he choked on blood.</p><p> </p><p>Katsuki rode the sobs, the sting of Deku’s shirt on his knuckles flung tiny sparks of regret right back at him.</p><p> </p><p>Katsuki realised that he now knew what the end of the universe felt like, ages and ages ago, Deku had told him about entropy, the inevitable heat death of the universe, the slow decay that would ease existence as he knew it into a gentle cradle of chaos and disorder, and Katsuki was sitting right in the middle of it, on some spec too small to register, in the beginning that had just ended.</p><p> </p><p>“Then die” Katsuki said, not angrily, not quietly. he didn’t snarl or bark, he let go of deku’s shirt and stared him down “Shitty deku, all this time one of us was supposed to die, it’s fate, you can’t stop it”</p><p> </p><p>Deku stared back up at him, eyes hollow as the sky beyond the sky, he was still breathing hard, propped up on his elbows and looking up at Katsuki with a look akin to sand, or something closer to a beach full of rotting iron.</p><p> </p><p>“I hate you so much Deku, so fucking much”</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <em>“Wait, wait! No, no, no! Don’t, please!”</em>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>Midoriya Izuku is dead.</p><p> </p><p>And Bakugou Katsuki killed him.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Katsuki is sitting on some roof, in a town no-one ever visits, and for a second he swears he hears a little girl wish on the wind</p><p> </p><p>and this time</p><p> </p><p>This time</p><p> </p><p>Katsuki remembers about something the teachers talked about in class, forever ago</p><p> </p><p>0.7 grams, just 0.7 grams that was all it took to turn Hiroshima into rubble.</p><p> </p><p>As the image runs for him, clawing its way up from the ledge, he raises his hand to the figure and its like the sun is falling out of his hands</p><p> </p><p>Katsuki is thirteen, Katsuki is not thirteen years old.</p><p> </p><p>Katsuki is going to be a hero, Katsuki is a murderer.</p><p> </p><p>Katsuki is sitting alone in a town that used to have a population of little over 700 people, when the hero’s come-</p><p> </p><p>He’s long gone before they ever find him</p><p> </p><hr/><p>Inko hummed as she washed the dishes, the plates clinking under her hand, the tv buzzed in the background</p><p> </p><p>“We interrupt this broadcast today with shocking news, less than 48 hours ago the small town, Kost, Russia, previously a hub for japanese-American immigrants was just- just it just exploded, I’m sorry it’s just, this is on a scale never seen before, there are suspicions that foul play was involved, the death toll is estimated to be- oh my- you’re kidding? what? Say that aga-”</p><p> </p><p>A single red thread wafted around the apartment, drifting on air as it brushed ever so gently against inko’s arm</p><p> </p><p>Her hand shot out. Snatching the thread from where it lingered, she brought it up to her face</p><p> </p><p>“I thought I told you to leave me alone” she whispered, and the thread shrivelled under her gaze, green eye’s watching as the ash of the thread fell to the floor.</p><p> </p><p>She stepped away from the sink wiping her hands on her pants she went to turn the tv off, hesitating enough to see the carnage of the event, the news anchor speaks again and inko flinches</p><p> </p><p>“Um so we- we’ve just gotten some footage from reporters in Alaska, they- they say they have a view of the debris as well- oh-oh my god”</p><p> </p><p>The screen flashes to a different shot, from the shoreline of Alaska there stands a ridge perfectly outlined in their eternal sun, a veritable mountain. Inko didn’t know exactly where kost was, but it must have been close to the shore as it looked like the explosion had split the earth from Russia and violently thrown it into the sea creating a new landmass in between the two.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh my god” inko whispered, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes, she fumbled for her phone, shakily typing the numbers in</p><p> </p><p>“Izu-izu-zuku?” She called into the receiver</p><p> </p><p>“Ms inko? What’s wrong?” Came the shaky reply</p><p> </p><p>Relief flooded her, calming her nerves somewhat</p><p> </p><p>“Can-can you come home please? I-I’m so-sorry-sorry it’s just- I ha-have a b-b-bad fee-l-feeling”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh okay, I’m was on my way anyway, ow stop that” his voice dropped away from the speaker</p><p> </p><p>“Izuku?, what wa-was that”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh the rabbit, um I’m at the stairwell, it dosnt have good reception, I’ll knock once I’m at the door okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“Ok-okay” she whispered “ill wait for you”</p><p> </p><p>“By-bye” he responded, hesitating to end the call, though, the beep came eventually</p><p> </p><p>
  <a href="https://nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/">If y’all wan see what kind of explosion Baku made, go here and put in 64442.1 kilotons, Diomede, wind direction away from Antartica </a>
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  <a href="https://www.deviantart.com/thepatriarchy42069/art/A-security-camera-on-little-Diomede-captured-this-874545921?ga_submit_new=10%3A1616890951">The image, if you were wondering</a>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>костлявый берег (kostlyavyy bereg) or kost for short, roughly translates to ‘boney shore’ is the capital of little diomede or ‘the isle of yesterday’. The capital was named for it’s unique beaches rife with fish, dolphin, whale and other marine skeletons since during the 1700s the town was a hub for whaling ships and fishing vessels, obviously the practice of commercial whaling has since been abolished, however the  white sands still remain as a tourist attraction for anyone travelling too and from Russia. </p><p>A excerpt from a school report on the city of kost written by Katsuki Bakugou, 1997</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>fun facts:<br/>a jackalope is a very common pashu with the body of a rabbit and the horns of an antelope, they have very acute hearing, being able to hear to higher frequencies than humans. however they lack in eyesight so the rely more on smell to identify people, they among other creatures have the ability to continuously grow if they live long enough. some legends hold tales of colossal jackalopes that roam the folded places of the prairie. in order to grow, jackalopes drop their horns and grown new ones as their bodies grow too, despite how common a jackalope is, finding even one is still incredibly difficult and the belief in the exitance of these pashu remains in doubt, but as evidence shows in their growing population they, for  better or for worse, can not be ignored for much longer.  </p>
<p>professor  Okuta, on the topic of "creatures" at the BHU University of Varanasi, this outrageous display among other incidents would cost him his position at the establishment and his teaching license, following the disappearance and presumed death of student Yaoyorozu Qian</p></blockquote></div></div>
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